Stupid.
I was going to give Nicole the poem I wrote her (To see it, go to
http://vanessaspoetry.blogspot.com/2008/10/third-poem-what-have-i-done.html ) but I was too scared. I'm such a chicken. As we were getting off the bus, it seemed like she was avoiding me. That kinda made me upset. We had an armed intruder drill 1st period, and then we were doing stuff on our calculators that I didn't understand. Then half way into 2nd period, I realized that I left my gym bag in math class! So before lunch 4th period, I had to go up to the math room and get my stuff, when there was a class of Juniors or Seniors there. I was so embarrassed. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, until when I stayed after school. I went for math help, and I was finished early so I called my mom to see if she could pick me up. We got mad at each other, and she told me that I had to take the late bus that came an hour later.
But that's not even the worst part.
I didn't have my id to get on the late bus, so I just assumed that they would let me on without consequence.
WRONG!
My friend Nikki told me that you get written up (which to me means DETENTION) for going on the late bus without an id. So I was screwed, because I knew my mom would be pissed. Nikki called her mom and asked if she could give me a ride home. She said yes. So as we're waiting for Nikki's mom, my mom calls, and I tell her what's going on, and she tells me that even though it's COMPLETELY out of her way, she's gonna pick me up. So I'm like "ok.". Nikki and I are waiting for our moms to pick us up (and by this time my stupid CELL PHONE BATTERY DIED AGAIN!!!!!) and I didn't realize my mom called me. Then suddenly I turn on my phone and I have a voice mail. I listen to it, and it's my mom screaming at me, saying she's in the parking lot. I'm like "SHIT!!!" and I run outside.
I am seriously surprised my mom didn't pop a brain cell. She was screaming at me at the top of her lungs for at least 10 minutes. It was absolutely insane. I was trying so hard not to cry most of the time, and eventually I did cry. It was really upsetting to hear her yell at me like that.
And one of the things that hurt me the most was her constant repetition of my obsession with the Monkees and the Beatles.
Why can't she just even try to understand that I really like them? It really hurts me that she's so against it! I mean, at least I'm not into drugs or something like that. She doesn't even realize that my 'stupid Beatles story' is something that keeps me from cutting myself again.
Instead, she decides to do what made me cut myself the first time: lower my self-esteem.
I really wish she could understand that.
Anyway, then we went to the super market. I was hoping to see Carly there, since she works there, but she wasn't. I wish she was!
But at least I'm feeling better now.
<3,
V A N E S S A
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